In my daily reading this morning, Matthew 18:21-35 NIV - YouVersion Online Bible, I had to step back and examine myself regarding it because I felt that twinge in my heart - you know the one that we often stuff aside and keep reading or close the book and think at least we finished our reading for today?
So I asked Him (yes it's simple, just ask) - Lord is there anyone who I haven't yet forgiven OR that I've taken my unforgiveness back from you once I gave it?
In the silence my heart felt it, the 'twinge' as the 3 names instantly came to mind followed by 3 different scenarios.
I was holding unforgiveness; not because I didn't forgive at the first offenses, but because I had apparently taken it back because with the thought of the names I had the feeling that I hate more than any other feeling - resentment, anger, and anxiety...
The definition of forgive is -
- stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake;
- cancel a debt;
- used in polite expressions as a request to excuse or regard indulgently one's foibles, ignorance, or impoliteness.
My heart was feeling the offense. Since I forgave instantly in each circumstance for each person that came to mind, I've apparently taken that debt back from the Lord even though I chose to give it already...
My prayer: Lord, I forgive each person in each different circumstance for (my thoughts only). I choose to love them because you love them and because you created them for a destined purpose in this world. I forgive them and release all hurt, pain, and injustice to you because this life is not about 'me' - it's about you in me. Forgive me Father for taking on the responsibility of choosing their worth in your forgiveness, ultimately that is between you and them, not you and me. Bless them Lord with your heart's desires for their lives and pour out your Holy Spirit over them now in Jesus name. #ChristInMe
I heard Joyce Meyer say one time, "Holding unforgiveness against someone is like drink poison and waiting for the other person to die."
Basically, its pointless because I'm/you're only hurting yourself. The other person is off doing their own thing. Some repent and ask to be forgiven, others don't or won't. It's not my/your responsibility to make sure they 'pay the price' for the hurt, in the bigger picture of life - their ultimate judgment is in the hands of someone who can do far more than I/you could ever imagine in changing that person's life or heart for what they've done.
The only responsibility I/you have is the choice and act of forgiving - even when you don't 'feel' like it. Some say, 'But you don't know what they did!'. No, but God does and He sacrificed His own Son with the most brutal death for ME/YOU - but for them also. It's his place to pass judgement on those worthy of forgiveness and those deemed to the pit of hell for all eternity, not me/you.
And choosing not to forgive, is in deed a choice - but after reading the excerpt below, is that really a chance anyone who believes in the Word is really willing to take? That my/your sins won't be forgiven either... Not a choice I'm choosing to take, I will freely forgive and love at all costs.
Matthew 18:21-35 NLT
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.
Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’
The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.
He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
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